


It Never Fades Away

by ashamtly



Series: Afterwards [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Feels, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Lance (Voltron)-centric, M/M, Post-Season/Series 08 Finale, kind of?, other characters are mainly mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-16
Updated: 2019-01-16
Packaged: 2019-10-11 07:04:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17442197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashamtly/pseuds/ashamtly
Summary: In the end, though Hunk is still his best friend, and Mullet pretty much his second. It's actually Shiro he ends up talking to.Not 'cause they wouldn't understand, expect... they wouldn't, 'cause Hunk has never learned about loss, not really (and quiznack he hopes he never does), and Keith...Well... for as much loss as the half-galra has had to go through, this one, this one is actually one of the few he hasn't experienced, so... there's only Shiro(A.K.A what Lance learns about love)





	It Never Fades Away

**Author's Note:**

> So... apparently, this is a series now? As I have probably mentioned before, I might be one of the few people that enjoyed season 8 and feel like the ending was a good one.  
> That being said, I still have feelings about it, and things that apparently I'd still like to write about so... here I am once again.  
> This short fic actually took me a long while to write, and it was really hard, to the point I consider giving up on it, but it just wouldn't let me!  
> In the end I'm not 100% happy with it, but... well here goes nothing, I hope someone enjoys it :D

In the end, though Hunk is still his best friend, and Mullet pretty much his second. It's actually Shiro he ends up talking to.  
Not 'cause they wouldn't understand, expect... they wouldn't, 'cause Hunk has never learned about loss, not really (and quiznack he hopes he never does), and Keith...

Well... for as much loss as the half-galra has had to go through, this one, this one is actually one of the few he hasn't experienced, so... there's only Shiro, except...

"I'm sorry I can't be of more help Lance, I wish I knew what to say to you, but the thing is... your situation and mine are not quite the same" he tries to explain with a helpless look on his face.  
"I thought you loved Adam" Lance doesn't intend for his words to sound that harsh, but... if Shiro's grimace is anything to go by, that's exactly how they sounded.  
"I did" Shiro agrees solemnly, with a somehow sad smile on his face, the kind of smile someone makes when they remember something in their past fondly "but Lance..., by the time I left for Kerberos, Adam and I were pretty much done, our relationship had sadly run its course"  
"You didn't love him anymore?" He asked, genially curious and kind of skeptically, 'cause... he simply can not imagine a time when he'd stop loving Allura.  
"I think I never stopped loving him" Shiro admits running his flesh hand through the back of his head "we were together for such a long time, and he was such an integral part of my life, that... I guess a part of me will always love him somehow, it's just that... that... I wasn't in love with him anymore, and I don't think he was either, at least not by the time Kerberos took off"  
"Do you ever wonder what would..."  
"I used to" Shiro interrupts him before he can finish making his question "during my year of captivity, I used to wonder about the what ifs; what if I had not taken the mission? what if we hadn't broken up? what if the Galra hadn't taken us? what if..., but in the end Lance, even if he hadn't... if he hadn't died, I don't think we would have gotten back together"  
"Because you were not in love anymore?" he had to ask  
"Yeah..." Shiro admits, once again looking a little sad (Keith is so gonna kill him for that), but, he thinks he finally gets it.  
"Thanks, Shiro" he smiles at the friend that used to be his hero, and has somehow become something bigger and greater than that, he's... he's...  
"Lance!" the white-haired man calls his name before he leaves the room.  
"Yeah?"  
"it's ok, you know?" he tells him with a shy, almost boyish smile, that Lance himself cam help but return before leaving.

So... in the end, Shiro was no help at all, 'cause... he was right, it's not the same.  
Shiro and Adam had years to know each other, to work as a couple, to get to know themselves as that couple; while he and Allura..., feel to him full of could haves and could beens.

Which is why, in insight, it shouldn't have surprised him that... in the end is not Shiro, Hunk, Pidge, Coran, Matt, nor Keith who finally help him make his peace with it; but Keith's mother, Krolia.

Funnily enough, he doesn't go looking for her so much as runs into her. Literally.

He will deny 'til the day he dies (and probably way after), but he finds Krolia sort of beautifully terrifying (is that whole family genetically predisposed to have perfect features and gorgeous hair, or what?!), so he kind of stutters an apology to her, for crashing into her... you know, her, and not looking were he was going, and pretty much existing.

Luckily for him, Keith's former social skills don't seem to come from his mother side, so Krolia graciously accepts his apology, helps him up and... actually gives him a smile! A smile! And then... it occurs to him ('cause he apparently hasn't done enough with Shiro to upset Keith), to ask her, 'cause... Keith had a dad right? And Krolia, Krolia must have loved him, right?

"Eh... Krolia?" still he hesitates, 'cause Veronica and Pidge be damned, he does have tact!  
"Yes?" she must have noticed his reluctance, 'cause she approaches him like one would a scared and hurt animal.  
"I... I would like to ask you a question, and... I know it might be a sensitive one, that could stir some memories or cause you some pain, and that would definitely make Keith run his blade through me or feed me to his wolf, so... don't feel obligated to answer if you don't want or feel like doing it, 'cause I'd totally understand, and..."  
"Lance!" and OMG it´s actually, like listening to Keith when he gets exasperatedly amused by his babble and just wants him to talk!  
"Yeah..." He's really scared to look at her now, but he somehow manages and there... how come Krolia smiles so much more than her son?  
"Why don't you just ask the question and then I can decide to answer or not?" she offers, and yeah, that sounds... logical and stuff.  
"I... well..., I wanted to know, well... more like to compare or... I don't know, to get insight from someone kind of in my situation, well... not exactly MY situation but..." he sees Krolia trying to not roll her eyes, and GODS, that's so Keith! but she at least isn't interrupting him or yelling at him to just talk, so he cuts to the chase "How did you get over Keith's dad?!" he blurts, totally blindsiding the Galra if her shocked expression is anything to go by, so he tries to elaborate "I mean, did you? 'cause you must have, right? I mean I have seen you and Kolivan. Not that I'm insinuating anything! but..."  
"Lance"  
"'cause I... Yeah?  
"It's ok, don't worry. As for your question... yes..., I did love Trevor, in fact, I still do" she confesses with a faraway fond look "and sometimes, I can't help but wonder..."  
"What if?" He can't help himself but interrupt, 'cause here, here's someone who really seems to understand  
"Kind of silly, right? Especially when so many years have gone by" she continues in kind of self-condescending way, so... he offers  
"I don't think I'm ever gonna stop loving Allura" and tries a smile, though he can feel it wobbler on his face, "And I know she's gone, and that there's no point to it, and I'm doing ok, but... sometimes I can't help but wonder..."  
"What if?" Krolia repeats for him "Lance... why did you ask if you already know the answer? why did you ask about Kolivan?"  
"Do you love him?" he blurts out again "I mean, as I said, you don't have to answer, but..."  
"I feel like I might be starting to" she answers him before he can put his foot in his mouth even more "just... please don't tell Keith"  
"He wouldn't..."  
"It's not time, not yet"  
"So... you still love Keith's father but..." He tries, turning the conversation back on its point, and out of those trembling waters; something not missed by Krolia if that half smile of hers is anything to go by.  
"Lance..., I know you're still young; and that it might seem impossible to you now, like a betrayal or abandonment; but... you can love again"  
"I..."  
"You can love more than one person in your lifetime, and that doesn't make your love for Alura less, nor somehow cheaper. Every person that comes into your life is different, and they bring something new an exciting into it" Krolia continue, putting a hand on his shoulder and looking straight into his eyes, making him feel like... like she was reaching out directly into his soul, "you're allowed to fall in love again"  
"But... Allura"  
"Lance... do you honestly think Allura would want you to never find love and happiness again? 'Cause I know for a fact Trevor wouldn't." she continue with a kind of sad expression that somehow managed to be filled with fondness at the same time, and he cannot help but wonder if... if it will ever be like that to him one day, if there will be a time when Allura's memory doesn't hurt this much, and he will be able to remember her with that sort of fondness and none of the bitterness

"I didn't really know him for that long" Krolia continues "and sometimes I still find myself wondering how our lives could have turned out if I hadn't had to return to the blades if I had taken him and Keith with me if he hadn't died. I wonder if we would have managed to raise Keith together somehow if we would have stayed together or strayed apart. I don't know, and never will, but what I do know Lance, the only thing I can offer you is... this... that kind of love, like the one I'm sure you and Allura shared, like the one I felt for Trevor, it never really fades away. So to answer the question you didn't ask, yes... you can still love Allura, and also yes, you're allowed to fall in love again" she finishes smiling at him once again, except this time it's different, or maybe it just seems different to him, because he can now see in her face what he hopes will someday be reflected on his own: peace, acceptance, wonder, inner calm and above all that... love, always love.

So he hugs her, cries into her arms for a while (and later he will manage to feel utterly embarrassed because of that), thanks her, and bids her goodbye, and then... then he does what deep down he wanted to do, but felt to much guilt to go and actually do it.

He picks up the phone, calls her, and finally tells her..... _**yes**_.


End file.
